We are now on winter break, but that doesn't mean the two days before break were without excitement.
On Monday we had a basketball game. Both teams lost. By a lot of points. Like, a really big lot of points. We scored one basket. Yeah, one. Fortunately (?) the other team lost by just as much, so I don't feel like it's just my team. The girls are always full of spirit and have fun though, so that's what's important. Well, that and not crying. Baby steps. All I can say is that when we finally win a game it will be the best day ever.
I gave a test on Monday. Before we even went over the test or the kids had even looked at it, one student in each class raised their hand and asked if there were retakes. Ummm, how about you TRY taking the test first?
Another student came up to ask me what would happen if she didn't finish the test. I told her she had two hours and would be fine, since everyone in the last block had finished. She replied with "Well, I didn't really have time to study". Oh, that's not actually an excuse...
On Tuesday I gave them colored candy canes. One girl came up to me and asked me for one because she said she hadn't had one yet. I told her that was interesting, since her mouth was completely blue. She told me it was her new lipstick. Nice try kiddo.
I also received a Christmas card from a student that said "Merry Christmas. Oh, and Happy Hanukkah in case you are Jewish". PC and thoughtful.
Two weeks of winter break to get caught up on life, but also two weeks without hilarious stories. They might be wacky kids, but I miss them when they aren't around.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Ain't No Crazy Like a Middle School Crazy
Current event presentation question and response from one student to another:
"How far do you think the Seahawks will be able to go?"
"Too far, just too far."
"Well, I think they'll do well, sine if you look carefully you can see the illuminati symbol in the helmet..."
Yeah, that kid is still really into that illuminati thing. Luckily they have a pretty short attention span so I'm fairly confident it will be old news by the time we come back from break. I hope.
"Can we bring our cell phones into incentive day?"
"No."
"Come on, even the mean teacher last year let us!"
Oddly enough, that didn't persuade me.
I was hosting a movie/PJ/popcorn party for our incentive day at school. I saw two of my students in the hall that morning. One was wearing regular pajamas and his mom's slippers. The other one was wearing a full on onesie. They asked me where my pajamas were, I wasn't wearing any.
"Did you guys just sign up for my incentive day because you were hoping I would wear my pajamas and you could make fun of me"
"Umm....kind of."
Don't worry, I was mature about it. "Well, the joke is on you guys!" Ok, so maybe I wasn't.
Later in class, a guy came to fix my computer. When he walked in I turned to show him where the computer was and saw the kid in the onesie sitting on his desk, legs full in the air yelling to his group "Look how flexible I am! I stretch every night. I can also touch my toes if you want to see." It was like if you had a child and they did something super embarrassing in public and you wanted to pretend you didn't know them.
A student was giving a presentation and two kids were talking in the back of the room. I asked them what was SO important that they had to talk about it right then.
"Well, I was just asking him about the name of these special kind of slippers you can wear outside."
While I was thinking about how dumb that sounded, this other kid stole the words right out of my mouth, "They are called SHOES."
The best part of yesterday was when one of my students came in at the end of the day and said "Are my pants in here?"
Today I was grading papers, my arch nemesis, when I saw something partially erased on an assignment. On closer inspection, I read "I will murder your face off if you touch me again", followed by a smiley face. I guess she was taking matters into her own hands? I would also just like to point out that I was not at school that day, so whatever was happening can be blamed on my substitute teacher :)
Some boys in my class today, the same ones who were giving me a hard time about the pajamas, were talking to me about the movie at school tomorrow night. I was asking about what food they were selling because I'm coaching until it starts and then chaperoning the movie. They were sweet and said "We'll bring you dinner from KFC". I mentioned that it was odd that KFC was their first choice and how I hadn't eaten there since I was like 7. That literally flabbergasted them. One of them said "I will get that KFC and shove it in your face!" Umm...thanks?
One of the science teachers that most all of my students have was also my high school science teacher. He already told them that a few months ago, but apparently they didn't all get the memo. Today one of them shouted out "He was YOUR science teacher???? That is blowing my mind!!!"
A student was being annoying today (weird, I know) in the middle of class and I stopped and was looking at him, waiting for him to stop with my teacher stare, I'm sure you know what I mean. Another student said to him "She wants to stab you" (also I'd like to clarify that I do NOT want to stab any students.). He said "with what?" And another girl said "Her eyes".
During our basketball game this evening, I told a girl to hurry and sub in. What I envisioned happening was her hurrying to check in and then waiting to be called in by the ref. What really happened: She got up off the bench and literally sprinted full speed onto the court in the middle of the game. She's also the one who can roll her eyes SO well during the game that I can see it from across the court. That's impressive.
Just another day in paradise. And I promise, I really do teach and they really are learning in between all the hilarity :)
"How far do you think the Seahawks will be able to go?"
"Too far, just too far."
"Well, I think they'll do well, sine if you look carefully you can see the illuminati symbol in the helmet..."
Yeah, that kid is still really into that illuminati thing. Luckily they have a pretty short attention span so I'm fairly confident it will be old news by the time we come back from break. I hope.
"Can we bring our cell phones into incentive day?"
"No."
"Come on, even the mean teacher last year let us!"
Oddly enough, that didn't persuade me.
I was hosting a movie/PJ/popcorn party for our incentive day at school. I saw two of my students in the hall that morning. One was wearing regular pajamas and his mom's slippers. The other one was wearing a full on onesie. They asked me where my pajamas were, I wasn't wearing any.
"Did you guys just sign up for my incentive day because you were hoping I would wear my pajamas and you could make fun of me"
"Umm....kind of."
Don't worry, I was mature about it. "Well, the joke is on you guys!" Ok, so maybe I wasn't.
Later in class, a guy came to fix my computer. When he walked in I turned to show him where the computer was and saw the kid in the onesie sitting on his desk, legs full in the air yelling to his group "Look how flexible I am! I stretch every night. I can also touch my toes if you want to see." It was like if you had a child and they did something super embarrassing in public and you wanted to pretend you didn't know them.
A student was giving a presentation and two kids were talking in the back of the room. I asked them what was SO important that they had to talk about it right then.
"Well, I was just asking him about the name of these special kind of slippers you can wear outside."
While I was thinking about how dumb that sounded, this other kid stole the words right out of my mouth, "They are called SHOES."
The best part of yesterday was when one of my students came in at the end of the day and said "Are my pants in here?"
Today I was grading papers, my arch nemesis, when I saw something partially erased on an assignment. On closer inspection, I read "I will murder your face off if you touch me again", followed by a smiley face. I guess she was taking matters into her own hands? I would also just like to point out that I was not at school that day, so whatever was happening can be blamed on my substitute teacher :)
Some boys in my class today, the same ones who were giving me a hard time about the pajamas, were talking to me about the movie at school tomorrow night. I was asking about what food they were selling because I'm coaching until it starts and then chaperoning the movie. They were sweet and said "We'll bring you dinner from KFC". I mentioned that it was odd that KFC was their first choice and how I hadn't eaten there since I was like 7. That literally flabbergasted them. One of them said "I will get that KFC and shove it in your face!" Umm...thanks?
One of the science teachers that most all of my students have was also my high school science teacher. He already told them that a few months ago, but apparently they didn't all get the memo. Today one of them shouted out "He was YOUR science teacher???? That is blowing my mind!!!"
A student was being annoying today (weird, I know) in the middle of class and I stopped and was looking at him, waiting for him to stop with my teacher stare, I'm sure you know what I mean. Another student said to him "She wants to stab you" (also I'd like to clarify that I do NOT want to stab any students.). He said "with what?" And another girl said "Her eyes".
During our basketball game this evening, I told a girl to hurry and sub in. What I envisioned happening was her hurrying to check in and then waiting to be called in by the ref. What really happened: She got up off the bench and literally sprinted full speed onto the court in the middle of the game. She's also the one who can roll her eyes SO well during the game that I can see it from across the court. That's impressive.
Just another day in paradise. And I promise, I really do teach and they really are learning in between all the hilarity :)
Monday, December 10, 2012
Manic Monday
I decided to try asking a student to do something for me who I wouldn't normally ask. I thought maybe he would rise to the challenge. I was wrong.
"Hey, can you go out into the shared space and ask the kids working out there to come back in?"
Then I hear this being yelled from the classroom door:
"Hey ya buttholes, get back in here!"
I think it's pretty clear why I usually do things myself around here.
I also heard this from my desk today between two students:
"What do you think swag would stand for if it was an acronym?"
"Umm, love."
Yikes. Vocabulary fail.
I am also currently coaching the girl's junior varsity basketball team. You can probably imagine what that's like. At the game today I may have yelled out "don't you roll your eyes at me!" Only in middle school.
"Hey, can you go out into the shared space and ask the kids working out there to come back in?"
Then I hear this being yelled from the classroom door:
"Hey ya buttholes, get back in here!"
I think it's pretty clear why I usually do things myself around here.
I also heard this from my desk today between two students:
"What do you think swag would stand for if it was an acronym?"
"Umm, love."
Yikes. Vocabulary fail.
I am also currently coaching the girl's junior varsity basketball team. You can probably imagine what that's like. At the game today I may have yelled out "don't you roll your eyes at me!" Only in middle school.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sunday Night Giggles
Don't we all need a little laugh before heading back to work?
On Friday, I heard the girls sitting next to my desk talking about one of them being single. She said she was going to be alone forever. I told her I thought she'd be fine. The other girl said "Well, honey boo-boo's mom has a boyfriend and she doesn't, so....."
So much wisdom, so few years.
In case you live in a cave:
Honey Boo-Boo
We also had a school talent show on Friday. My personal favorite was the trio performing "Thrift Shop". Picture one kid rapping in an argyle sweater (he was actually really fabulous), a kid busting beats on his trumpet and one hype man. And don't worry, no profanity around here. "This is flippin' awesome"
Thrift Shop
I was also pretty into my student who wrote this weird rap about all of the teachers but in trying to rhyme her lines, just made up weird sentences about everyone. Mine was "looks like a bunny". Also, in between each line she would say "yo, yo, yo, yo". And I'm using the term "rapping" in a VERY loose way here. The best part was that following that performance, every student in my classes felt the need to let me know if they really thought I looked like a bunny or not. Right when one kid walked in he stared at me and then said "You know, I've never really thought about it before, but you DO look like a bunny". On a side note, he also came to class wearing a polo, v-neck cardigan and slacks. He had a band concert but instead just kept telling everyone it was "formal Friday".
On Friday, I heard the girls sitting next to my desk talking about one of them being single. She said she was going to be alone forever. I told her I thought she'd be fine. The other girl said "Well, honey boo-boo's mom has a boyfriend and she doesn't, so....."
So much wisdom, so few years.
In case you live in a cave:
Honey Boo-Boo
We also had a school talent show on Friday. My personal favorite was the trio performing "Thrift Shop". Picture one kid rapping in an argyle sweater (he was actually really fabulous), a kid busting beats on his trumpet and one hype man. And don't worry, no profanity around here. "This is flippin' awesome"
Thrift Shop
I was also pretty into my student who wrote this weird rap about all of the teachers but in trying to rhyme her lines, just made up weird sentences about everyone. Mine was "looks like a bunny". Also, in between each line she would say "yo, yo, yo, yo". And I'm using the term "rapping" in a VERY loose way here. The best part was that following that performance, every student in my classes felt the need to let me know if they really thought I looked like a bunny or not. Right when one kid walked in he stared at me and then said "You know, I've never really thought about it before, but you DO look like a bunny". On a side note, he also came to class wearing a polo, v-neck cardigan and slacks. He had a band concert but instead just kept telling everyone it was "formal Friday".
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Word to the Wednesday
Student led current event presentations lead to pretty fabulous discussions...
After an article presentation about a really old person:
"So, do you think anyone in our generation will live to be really, really old?"
"Yes, I mean because we are going into the future..."
"1.12 gigawatts, we're going back to the future!"
"People might end up just putting their brain on ice and then putting it into some sort of robot body"
"With science, people are probably going to live to be like 200"
"I don't want to live to be super old with like, half a face. I mean, that's probably what would happen if you were 200."
"They will probably find the people who are really old are the ones who just eat only 1 type of food. Like, they'll interview someone who is really old and he'll say he only ate potatoes or something."
During his presentation about bride kidnapping in another country:
"So, bride kidnapping probably sounds bad to you. And I would agree at first. People in that country used to get brides when they would ride their horses around and grab up ladies. Now it's basically the same, except with a van."
On a final note, I was trying to walk through an aisle of desks and was in the way of a student. Instead of waiting, he jumped across a table and slid to the other side while yelling "PARKOUR!!!"
After an article presentation about a really old person:
"So, do you think anyone in our generation will live to be really, really old?"
"Yes, I mean because we are going into the future..."
"1.12 gigawatts, we're going back to the future!"
"People might end up just putting their brain on ice and then putting it into some sort of robot body"
"With science, people are probably going to live to be like 200"
"I don't want to live to be super old with like, half a face. I mean, that's probably what would happen if you were 200."
"They will probably find the people who are really old are the ones who just eat only 1 type of food. Like, they'll interview someone who is really old and he'll say he only ate potatoes or something."
During his presentation about bride kidnapping in another country:
"So, bride kidnapping probably sounds bad to you. And I would agree at first. People in that country used to get brides when they would ride their horses around and grab up ladies. Now it's basically the same, except with a van."
On a final note, I was trying to walk through an aisle of desks and was in the way of a student. Instead of waiting, he jumped across a table and slid to the other side while yelling "PARKOUR!!!"
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Notes
We've been running our car factory simulation in class for the past few days but finished on Friday.The students were either factory owners or child laborers. Today, I was doing something and noticed some kids passing a note and getting rowdy. I collected the note and read this:
"Pike Manufacturing,
Hello and congratulations on being a proud employee of Pike Manufacturing, as an employee. As employees it is your job to manufacture cars, these cars are to be in pristine condition, or we might just have to fire you. Pike Manufacturing pays its employees 8 credits per car unless one is not passed, then you are paid 5 credits per car. Anyone will be hired even if they have a criminal record or are poorer than dirt.
The cars will be sold to Hicadin Vehicles that pay ten credits poer car. Once hired you will sit in assigned seats that you will sit in for the remainder of the day. Our company uses an assembly line tactic where your job is only to draw one part of the vehicle and pass it on to the next worker. After working for seven hours, the workday ends and you will exit from several exits. Once the workday begins you are advised to come on time or risk a pay cut. After repeating the day several times you will be issued a performance report that will have things you can improve on.
Now, we have a possibility of combining businesses, so if it happens prepare for the following possibilities: New workspace, new pay, new workers and new conditions. We won't loser the new items, so they will possibly be better. After accepting the job you shall go to your workstation, work and then move to W's business and work for them. Our business will be the most pristine company. We guarantee our workers are 100% happy or we will improve your working conditions.
This contract cannot be interfered by except by the following people: W, J and P. This contract has no expiration date. You cannot go on strike and you may not form a union. Tearing this contract will not make a difference because it's on file on computer. After ten days you will receive a 1 credit increase that will never be deducted. You will also have the following insurance:
Health Insurance
Life Insurance
Fire Insurance
Gas Insurance
War Insurance
Animal Insurance
Home Insurance
Transportation Insurance"
Dare I say they are excited about class AND learning something?! Can it be??
"Pike Manufacturing,
Hello and congratulations on being a proud employee of Pike Manufacturing, as an employee. As employees it is your job to manufacture cars, these cars are to be in pristine condition, or we might just have to fire you. Pike Manufacturing pays its employees 8 credits per car unless one is not passed, then you are paid 5 credits per car. Anyone will be hired even if they have a criminal record or are poorer than dirt.
The cars will be sold to Hicadin Vehicles that pay ten credits poer car. Once hired you will sit in assigned seats that you will sit in for the remainder of the day. Our company uses an assembly line tactic where your job is only to draw one part of the vehicle and pass it on to the next worker. After working for seven hours, the workday ends and you will exit from several exits. Once the workday begins you are advised to come on time or risk a pay cut. After repeating the day several times you will be issued a performance report that will have things you can improve on.
Now, we have a possibility of combining businesses, so if it happens prepare for the following possibilities: New workspace, new pay, new workers and new conditions. We won't loser the new items, so they will possibly be better. After accepting the job you shall go to your workstation, work and then move to W's business and work for them. Our business will be the most pristine company. We guarantee our workers are 100% happy or we will improve your working conditions.
This contract cannot be interfered by except by the following people: W, J and P. This contract has no expiration date. You cannot go on strike and you may not form a union. Tearing this contract will not make a difference because it's on file on computer. After ten days you will receive a 1 credit increase that will never be deducted. You will also have the following insurance:
Health Insurance
Life Insurance
Fire Insurance
Gas Insurance
War Insurance
Animal Insurance
Home Insurance
Transportation Insurance"
Dare I say they are excited about class AND learning something?! Can it be??
Monday, December 3, 2012
S.M.S
Save My Sanity
"We just put our hair up in beehives, you know, like they used to do when you were young."
"Ohhh... we weren't rolling around on the floor fighting, we were....performing a skit!"
"Yo, what up giiiiirl?"
"T should be your best friend, he invited you for Thanksgiving."
*I was then invited to Christmas and Hanukkah and had to remind them that I actually have my own family.
Every time something happens in the classroom, this kid screams out "IT'S THE ILLUMINATI!!!" and now a bunch of them are into making those triangles with their hands during class and sneaking to freeze the image of the illuminati under the document camera. I thought they were just super into the Da Vinci Code movie or something but turns out it's some rap thing. Also, that made me feel old.
The same kid told me he noticed that my number jars were ordered 2, 1, 3 and if that actually meant I was a fan of Nate Dogg (another rap thing that I had to google...). How did he know I specifically choose my favorite artists by the number of songs they have with explicit ratings?
"It's your birthday? Are you turning 24?" Bless you child, bless you.
After listening to an 8th grader try multiple rounds of "Colors of the Wind" with the wrong words, I suggested that perhaps he didn't actually know the words... or the tune. I thought he was singing Happy Birthday from across the room. He started doing something on his computer and then in the middle of an activity asked if he could get something from the printer. "No, you may not go get your lyrics to Colors of the Wind in the middle of class." He replied with, "Come on, will you sing it at the talent show with me? I'm not even kidding!".
Political Cartoons: Sometimes You Get It...
And sometimes you add in a weird detail:
"I think this has something to do with jazz... or could be resembling a factory owner taking in children."
"I see a man (Martin Luther King Jr.?) who is fat (most likely from all the children he's eating) and he is eating more children." He also wrote "Carl Winslow" next to the man's head.
"In response, this seems to be opposing child labor. A man looking like Louie Armstrong or Dizzy Gillespie is eating children. I don't think he owns a factory. He looks like a mixture of Carl from Family Matters and Uncle Phil. He might be the factory himself, absorbing these kids."
As a side note: I didn't know kids still watched Family Matters?
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
There's No Crying in Basketball
False.
Me: "Hey M, call out for the ball!"
M: "NO!"
Me: "Ok....why not?"
M: "I don't want to!"
Me: "Well, how will your team know that you are open to pass to you?"
M: "I don't want them to!! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY! My dad is making me!"
Cue crying.
Me: "M, I don't care what you do, get in front of your player on defense! Stay in front of her!"
Cue crashing into other player and the ground.
Cue crying, limping, and general misery.
Me: "Hey M, call out for the ball!"
M: "NO!"
Me: "Ok....why not?"
M: "I don't want to!"
Me: "Well, how will your team know that you are open to pass to you?"
M: "I don't want them to!! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO PLAY! My dad is making me!"
Cue crying.
Me: "M, I don't care what you do, get in front of your player on defense! Stay in front of her!"
Cue crashing into other player and the ground.
Cue crying, limping, and general misery.
Kids be Crazy.
No. Just, no.
Sorry kids, but sometimes I don't want to hear it and I don't want to be a part of it.
"Will you smell my hands?" No, no I will not. Not even if you tell me they smell like candy cane hand sanitizer.
"Do you want to hear an interesting fact about seaweed?". Not really, since all of your facts take at least 5 minutes to explain. Another kid did want to hear it and I overheard him giving a weird monologue about how only some types of people in the world can digest seaweed. Don't worry, it had absolutely nothing to do with what we were doing in class.
"Can I go to my locker? I'm having a lady issue." Needless to say, I did not need specifics.
Online Discussion Board Lovelies.
The kids are participating in an activity in which they have created a character who is a child laborer during the industrial revolution or are factory owners. After their first day of "work" in the factory yesterday, I asked them to answer some questions on our online discussion board.
This student is super into her boss, but not into spelling: "YOU ARE THE BOSS! take thet literaliy and fiogurtalie!"
I was kind of impressed when I saw this symbol: ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) because I don't know how they made it. At least, I was impressed until I saw it more than once. 19 more times to be exact. And then I saw what this kid posted. He's clearly a real overachiever:
( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°)
This student is one of the factory owners. Here, he explains how he treats his employees: "Yes they need to make me laugh and act their age not their shoe size."
Sometimes, I'm really just speechless. Apparently this kid feels the same way: "yay fjoewfhbsdhefhweiufhsduhfhydsudihdwuhjrgfjhshedfkherjkfhweriu9d8fujweroifkghejrgwikfjgdoifjdwucfhfiu9gdajguiodshtrfpubhdsfudhfgihuesbnfi0xcoizfp-isdfioehtugfiijew[oifu[fgo9wir-tgu89wrhy-fgt879w7hyre-tpuwea5uhqg-p3ui4hyg5bqh45hq1-[58yhuq1-8e47tr-[58hyu="
Although, in his defense, he also posted this: "i am not getting paid enough to support myself i need at least 3 per car. the hours are brutal, there is at least 1 accident per day, the markers are still red with blood."
I'm pretty into his mildly dramatic account of the day.
Cheating: Not for the Faint of Heart
Dear 8th Graders,
I hate to tell you this, but your writing does not sound like adult writing. So yes, when you copy and paste from the internet, I will find out. And I will bust you. And your parents will bust you. And it will stink. I'll fill you in on a little secret. The way that you googled the title of your book to copy and paste information for your book report is the same way that I found out that you didn't write a single word of your book report. And no, I don't really believe you when you say you "didn't realize you did it". Google and I are on to you. You've been warned.
Sincerely,
Your Teacher
Sorry kids, but sometimes I don't want to hear it and I don't want to be a part of it.
"Will you smell my hands?" No, no I will not. Not even if you tell me they smell like candy cane hand sanitizer.
"Do you want to hear an interesting fact about seaweed?". Not really, since all of your facts take at least 5 minutes to explain. Another kid did want to hear it and I overheard him giving a weird monologue about how only some types of people in the world can digest seaweed. Don't worry, it had absolutely nothing to do with what we were doing in class.
"Can I go to my locker? I'm having a lady issue." Needless to say, I did not need specifics.
Online Discussion Board Lovelies.
The kids are participating in an activity in which they have created a character who is a child laborer during the industrial revolution or are factory owners. After their first day of "work" in the factory yesterday, I asked them to answer some questions on our online discussion board.
This student is super into her boss, but not into spelling: "YOU ARE THE BOSS! take thet literaliy and fiogurtalie!"
I was kind of impressed when I saw this symbol: ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) because I don't know how they made it. At least, I was impressed until I saw it more than once. 19 more times to be exact. And then I saw what this kid posted. He's clearly a real overachiever:
( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°) ( ͡° ͜Ê– ͡°)
This student is one of the factory owners. Here, he explains how he treats his employees: "Yes they need to make me laugh and act their age not their shoe size."
Sometimes, I'm really just speechless. Apparently this kid feels the same way: "yay fjoewfhbsdhefhweiufhsduhfhydsudihdwuhjrgfjhshedfkherjkfhweriu9d8fujweroifkghejrgwikfjgdoifjdwucfhfiu9gdajguiodshtrfpubhdsfudhfgihuesbnfi0xcoizfp-isdfioehtugfiijew[oifu[fgo9wir-tgu89wrhy-fgt879w7hyre-tpuwea5uhqg-p3ui4hyg5bqh45hq1-[58yhuq1-8e47tr-[58hyu="
Although, in his defense, he also posted this: "i am not getting paid enough to support myself i need at least 3 per car. the hours are brutal, there is at least 1 accident per day, the markers are still red with blood."
I'm pretty into his mildly dramatic account of the day.
Cheating: Not for the Faint of Heart
Dear 8th Graders,
I hate to tell you this, but your writing does not sound like adult writing. So yes, when you copy and paste from the internet, I will find out. And I will bust you. And your parents will bust you. And it will stink. I'll fill you in on a little secret. The way that you googled the title of your book to copy and paste information for your book report is the same way that I found out that you didn't write a single word of your book report. And no, I don't really believe you when you say you "didn't realize you did it". Google and I are on to you. You've been warned.
Sincerely,
Your Teacher
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Kids These Days
Sometimes kids say things that make me plop my head on the desk.
Sometimes kids say things that make me blow my top.
Sometimes kids say things that make me cry with laughter.
And sometimes, every now and then, kids say things that really make the job worthwhile.
Today, one of my students asked me if I had taught middle school before. I said no. She said:
"You are just doing a really great job. I mean, you always get your point across. And people are ALWAYS interrupting you and you just get control and keep going. I just think you are doing so great."
Normally I would be suspicious, but this kid didn't even want anything from me. No extension, no new seat...nothing! She just said it out of the blue and it was the nicest thing.
So, when people say to me that middle school must be a nightmare and it sounds horrible and the kids must be awful, this is what I think about. The small moments, the laughter, the learning, the connections with kids. And you know, you kind of get used to the smell :)
Sometimes kids say things that make me blow my top.
Sometimes kids say things that make me cry with laughter.
And sometimes, every now and then, kids say things that really make the job worthwhile.
Today, one of my students asked me if I had taught middle school before. I said no. She said:
"You are just doing a really great job. I mean, you always get your point across. And people are ALWAYS interrupting you and you just get control and keep going. I just think you are doing so great."
Normally I would be suspicious, but this kid didn't even want anything from me. No extension, no new seat...nothing! She just said it out of the blue and it was the nicest thing.
So, when people say to me that middle school must be a nightmare and it sounds horrible and the kids must be awful, this is what I think about. The small moments, the laughter, the learning, the connections with kids. And you know, you kind of get used to the smell :)
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
8th Grade Presentation Re-Cap
In September, we assigned the kids a book project due at the end of the quarter.
Today, I heard lots of great excuses for why projects weren't ready for presentations.
"Could I have an extra day? I fell asleep when I was working on it last night"
I told everyone that the only valid excuse would be something like "My whole computer crashed last night and deleted every one of my files."
Right afterwards, a girl who didn't have her project raised her hand...
"My computer crashed last night and deleted all my files."
Suspicious? Yes.
Great Presentation Moments of 2012:
"He was the son of a lighthouse keeper" (from across the room I hear this kid say to himself..."SON of a LIGHTHOUSE keeper!")
"This book is by Carl Dicker" (met with giggles, naturally. The written name was actually Carl DEUKER)
Every time I called someone to present, this one kid would shout out "You gotta want it!". You can guess what I found written on the white board later.
In the middle of presentations... "Can I go to the office? I think I'm about to puke". Now THAT excuse I don't play around with!
One kid presented and I realized he was wearing his shirt backwards. Even 8th graders can't dress themselves.
The best presentation of the day -
This kid gets up and starts showing his powerpoint slides. He tells us to imagine what it would be like if we were just diagnosed with a deadly disease. He shows us these dark slides with one question on each. "What would you do if you had a year to live?" "Who would you tell?"... It was deep. Then, a slide that says "a wise man once said" and the following slide:
Y.O.L.O.
And then launched into his actual presentation. It was amazing and hilarious. Future public speaker.
________________________________________________________________________________
On a side note, my 6th graders were talking amongst themselves and I heard them come up with what should be on Obama's Presidential Rubric (they were also wondering if he had one after I told them that even grown ups have rubrics for things). They think he should have a rubric to check if he is:
Funny
Swaggy
Growing his hair like Justin Bieber.
________________________________________________________________________________
Also, I learned about this guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Chainz
from some 8th graders when EVERY 2nd period they would say "what period is this?" And then I would say 2 they would yell "2 CHAINZ!". It never got old. For them.
Today, I heard lots of great excuses for why projects weren't ready for presentations.
"Could I have an extra day? I fell asleep when I was working on it last night"
I told everyone that the only valid excuse would be something like "My whole computer crashed last night and deleted every one of my files."
Right afterwards, a girl who didn't have her project raised her hand...
"My computer crashed last night and deleted all my files."
Suspicious? Yes.
Great Presentation Moments of 2012:
"He was the son of a lighthouse keeper" (from across the room I hear this kid say to himself..."SON of a LIGHTHOUSE keeper!")
"This book is by Carl Dicker" (met with giggles, naturally. The written name was actually Carl DEUKER)
Every time I called someone to present, this one kid would shout out "You gotta want it!". You can guess what I found written on the white board later.
In the middle of presentations... "Can I go to the office? I think I'm about to puke". Now THAT excuse I don't play around with!
One kid presented and I realized he was wearing his shirt backwards. Even 8th graders can't dress themselves.
The best presentation of the day -
This kid gets up and starts showing his powerpoint slides. He tells us to imagine what it would be like if we were just diagnosed with a deadly disease. He shows us these dark slides with one question on each. "What would you do if you had a year to live?" "Who would you tell?"... It was deep. Then, a slide that says "a wise man once said" and the following slide:
Y.O.L.O.
And then launched into his actual presentation. It was amazing and hilarious. Future public speaker.
________________________________________________________________________________
On a side note, my 6th graders were talking amongst themselves and I heard them come up with what should be on Obama's Presidential Rubric (they were also wondering if he had one after I told them that even grown ups have rubrics for things). They think he should have a rubric to check if he is:
Funny
Swaggy
Growing his hair like Justin Bieber.
________________________________________________________________________________
Also, I learned about this guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Chainz
from some 8th graders when EVERY 2nd period they would say "what period is this?" And then I would say 2 they would yell "2 CHAINZ!". It never got old. For them.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Return
The birds are back...
Nixon Bird
Lincoln Bird. Very historically accurate (note the gun peeking out from the curtain)
Disco Bird
Nixon Bird
Lincoln Bird. Very historically accurate (note the gun peeking out from the curtain)
Disco Bird
Sunday, November 4, 2012
The Scoop
It's been a smidge busy 'round here, so here's the highlights from the past few weeks...
Chaperoning the Dance, AKA: The Greatest Night in History
Things I was horrified by -
*Kids dressed as prisoners. Sign of the future?
*Kids dating each other. They are children!
*Pelvic dance moves, lots of pelvic dance moves. I literally shouted at this kid "stop it with those move with your pelvis!" Just doing my job people.
Things I LOVED -
*My sister and I went together. Claaaaaassic dance scenario. Plus we had fab costumes.
*The kid wearing the giant tv box as a costume and whacking into people every time he turned.
*Spending the entire 2 hours dancing. That's a workout my friends.
*Being laughed at by middle schoolers for the whole 2 hours. I think they were laughing in more like a "wow, we're super impressed by your moves" kind of way. Right?
*Inspiring the formation of a dance circle around my sister and I. Yeah, we're pretty cool.
*Seeing so many kids I know having a great time with their friends.
*Watching all 200 kids lose their minds when Gangam Style came on. You are really missing out if you haven't seen 13 year olds do that dance move.
Things I'm Still Confused About -
*Seeing this post on the library page regarding the best moments of the dance: "My best moment at the dance would have to be when we were in the photo booth. Also seeing my L.A./S.S teacher dance old school style." What does that mean? Is the running man not cool anymore? If the running man is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
*Kids do a LOT of jumping up and down when they dance. It's actually quite tiring.
*None of the kids knew the song "Bust a Move". It was sad.
Basically, it was awesome and I can't wait for the next one. And the return of the running man. I'll never let go.
Tidbits O' Funny From My Classes
*Every time one of my student learns something interesting he yells "that just blew my mind!". The other day he said something and then yelled "I just blew my own mind!"
*On Halloween several students in one class asked me if I was going to go trick or treating. I finally just announced to the whole class that 30 was a little old to be trying to trick or treat and one of them passionately yelled out "YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO TRICK OR TREAT!!!". While I appreciated his enthusiasm, I'm not trying to get doors slammed in my face. Another student told me I could pretend to be his mom and go with him. Wow, absolutely not.
*I overheard this during my class of 6th graders: "Well, I'm practically a grown man" "No you're not, you're 12."
*"I'm going to call you G because your last name starts with G and you're basically gangsta."
*The phrase I utter 30 times per day? "Who is making that annoying sound?!"
It's crazy, but I love it :)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Read Aloud
I started reading the book "Cold Sassy Tree"out loud today. The setting is a town in Georgia named Cold Sassy. I told the 8th graders they could draw while I read, which was met with HUGE excitement. That was strange. What was also strange? The fact that they ALL drew cold, sassy, trees...
Oh, and a poetry bird reading his works
And, naturally, a jazz bird
Oh, and a poetry bird reading his works
And, naturally, a jazz bird
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Cross Country
Turns out our friend doesn't limit himself to just holding dogs (which he did again today). During our meet today we looked over and saw him holding a small child. Telling your team member not to pick up children and carry them around, just another day on the job.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
History
As I was grading a quiz today, I came across some real gems. Just an FYI, the period after the Civil War is called Reconstruction...
I also enjoyed this answer about Washington State geography:
I swear I'm teaching them!
What was the time
after the civil war known as?
It was known as the dark ages.
What was the time
after the civil war known as?
The Great Depression.
What was the time
after the civil war known as?
The 80's
I also enjoyed this answer about Washington State geography:
Name one island in
Washington State:
hawiai
I swear I'm teaching them!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Future Artists of America
Behold the splendor of 8th grade drawings...
That's the cast of the Wizard of Oz. Obviously.
Creativity at its finest. s
In this case, it's probably for the best that they had the animal saying the noise it makes.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Life Story
"My name is _____, I am 13 years old. I have 1 brother, 2 dogs and 1 cat. My hobbies include being a puppeteer and playing on my NES. I like anteaters, frozen waffles and television. I dislike sushi seaweed, vicious dogs and fast moving objects. In the future I hope to become an efficiency expert and live in a reasonably good home. I am an 8th grader and hope to keep all my grades up. My favorite President is Woodrow Wilson and my least favorite is Franklin Pierce."
I really think the highlights there are the future career choice and the favorite president. Never a dull moment grading around here.
I really think the highlights there are the future career choice and the favorite president. Never a dull moment grading around here.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
XC
While coaching cross country this season, we've had several injuries. I've lost count of the number of students who have allegedly somehow rolled their ankles at practice, but our major injuries have come by way of trampolines, soccer, somersaults and other such daring feats of athleticism. It may come as no surprise that we literally lose every meet by at least 20 points.
If there was a score for sportsmanship and heart though, we'd win. Our kids might come in dead last in a clump, but they are running together and holding hands across that finish line. And that's a team.
I should also point out our kids who come to practice and meets and are injured, like one of our 8th grade friends. He can't run right now, but somehow miraculously is cured when he needs to jump over tall bushes. His favorite activities include straight legged running because he thinks we won't consider that actual running, getting sassy when we tell him he has to walk so he won't hurt himself more, and high fives. He's easy to spot, he's the one holding a random dog he's found everywhere we go.
Middle school sports are where it's at.
If there was a score for sportsmanship and heart though, we'd win. Our kids might come in dead last in a clump, but they are running together and holding hands across that finish line. And that's a team.
I should also point out our kids who come to practice and meets and are injured, like one of our 8th grade friends. He can't run right now, but somehow miraculously is cured when he needs to jump over tall bushes. His favorite activities include straight legged running because he thinks we won't consider that actual running, getting sassy when we tell him he has to walk so he won't hurt himself more, and high fives. He's easy to spot, he's the one holding a random dog he's found everywhere we go.
Middle school sports are where it's at.
Life Goals
"When I grow up, I'm going to enter a beard contest"
Shoot for the stars my 8th grade friend, shoot for the stars.
Shoot for the stars my 8th grade friend, shoot for the stars.
Tentacles
After reading an article with my 6th grade study skills class:
"Well, they have a lot of testicles"
"You mean TENTACLES"
"Oh, yeah... so the testicles..."
I gave up.
"Well, they have a lot of testicles"
"You mean TENTACLES"
"Oh, yeah... so the testicles..."
I gave up.
Scattegories
I asked the groups to brainstorm words for each category that started with "M" and then heard this from my desk...
"We need a sport"
"Oh, I know! Motor-boating!"
He thought it was a really great idea too. Luckily they didn't catch on and nobody saw me giggling to myself like the mature adult that I am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)