We are now on winter break, but that doesn't mean the two days before break were without excitement.
On Monday we had a basketball game. Both teams lost. By a lot of points. Like, a really big lot of points. We scored one basket. Yeah, one. Fortunately (?) the other team lost by just as much, so I don't feel like it's just my team. The girls are always full of spirit and have fun though, so that's what's important. Well, that and not crying. Baby steps. All I can say is that when we finally win a game it will be the best day ever.
I gave a test on Monday. Before we even went over the test or the kids had even looked at it, one student in each class raised their hand and asked if there were retakes. Ummm, how about you TRY taking the test first?
Another student came up to ask me what would happen if she didn't finish the test. I told her she had two hours and would be fine, since everyone in the last block had finished. She replied with "Well, I didn't really have time to study". Oh, that's not actually an excuse...
On Tuesday I gave them colored candy canes. One girl came up to me and asked me for one because she said she hadn't had one yet. I told her that was interesting, since her mouth was completely blue. She told me it was her new lipstick. Nice try kiddo.
I also received a Christmas card from a student that said "Merry Christmas. Oh, and Happy Hanukkah in case you are Jewish". PC and thoughtful.
Two weeks of winter break to get caught up on life, but also two weeks without hilarious stories. They might be wacky kids, but I miss them when they aren't around.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Ain't No Crazy Like a Middle School Crazy
Current event presentation question and response from one student to another:
"How far do you think the Seahawks will be able to go?"
"Too far, just too far."
"Well, I think they'll do well, sine if you look carefully you can see the illuminati symbol in the helmet..."
Yeah, that kid is still really into that illuminati thing. Luckily they have a pretty short attention span so I'm fairly confident it will be old news by the time we come back from break. I hope.
"Can we bring our cell phones into incentive day?"
"No."
"Come on, even the mean teacher last year let us!"
Oddly enough, that didn't persuade me.
I was hosting a movie/PJ/popcorn party for our incentive day at school. I saw two of my students in the hall that morning. One was wearing regular pajamas and his mom's slippers. The other one was wearing a full on onesie. They asked me where my pajamas were, I wasn't wearing any.
"Did you guys just sign up for my incentive day because you were hoping I would wear my pajamas and you could make fun of me"
"Umm....kind of."
Don't worry, I was mature about it. "Well, the joke is on you guys!" Ok, so maybe I wasn't.
Later in class, a guy came to fix my computer. When he walked in I turned to show him where the computer was and saw the kid in the onesie sitting on his desk, legs full in the air yelling to his group "Look how flexible I am! I stretch every night. I can also touch my toes if you want to see." It was like if you had a child and they did something super embarrassing in public and you wanted to pretend you didn't know them.
A student was giving a presentation and two kids were talking in the back of the room. I asked them what was SO important that they had to talk about it right then.
"Well, I was just asking him about the name of these special kind of slippers you can wear outside."
While I was thinking about how dumb that sounded, this other kid stole the words right out of my mouth, "They are called SHOES."
The best part of yesterday was when one of my students came in at the end of the day and said "Are my pants in here?"
Today I was grading papers, my arch nemesis, when I saw something partially erased on an assignment. On closer inspection, I read "I will murder your face off if you touch me again", followed by a smiley face. I guess she was taking matters into her own hands? I would also just like to point out that I was not at school that day, so whatever was happening can be blamed on my substitute teacher :)
Some boys in my class today, the same ones who were giving me a hard time about the pajamas, were talking to me about the movie at school tomorrow night. I was asking about what food they were selling because I'm coaching until it starts and then chaperoning the movie. They were sweet and said "We'll bring you dinner from KFC". I mentioned that it was odd that KFC was their first choice and how I hadn't eaten there since I was like 7. That literally flabbergasted them. One of them said "I will get that KFC and shove it in your face!" Umm...thanks?
One of the science teachers that most all of my students have was also my high school science teacher. He already told them that a few months ago, but apparently they didn't all get the memo. Today one of them shouted out "He was YOUR science teacher???? That is blowing my mind!!!"
A student was being annoying today (weird, I know) in the middle of class and I stopped and was looking at him, waiting for him to stop with my teacher stare, I'm sure you know what I mean. Another student said to him "She wants to stab you" (also I'd like to clarify that I do NOT want to stab any students.). He said "with what?" And another girl said "Her eyes".
During our basketball game this evening, I told a girl to hurry and sub in. What I envisioned happening was her hurrying to check in and then waiting to be called in by the ref. What really happened: She got up off the bench and literally sprinted full speed onto the court in the middle of the game. She's also the one who can roll her eyes SO well during the game that I can see it from across the court. That's impressive.
Just another day in paradise. And I promise, I really do teach and they really are learning in between all the hilarity :)
"How far do you think the Seahawks will be able to go?"
"Too far, just too far."
"Well, I think they'll do well, sine if you look carefully you can see the illuminati symbol in the helmet..."
Yeah, that kid is still really into that illuminati thing. Luckily they have a pretty short attention span so I'm fairly confident it will be old news by the time we come back from break. I hope.
"Can we bring our cell phones into incentive day?"
"No."
"Come on, even the mean teacher last year let us!"
Oddly enough, that didn't persuade me.
I was hosting a movie/PJ/popcorn party for our incentive day at school. I saw two of my students in the hall that morning. One was wearing regular pajamas and his mom's slippers. The other one was wearing a full on onesie. They asked me where my pajamas were, I wasn't wearing any.
"Did you guys just sign up for my incentive day because you were hoping I would wear my pajamas and you could make fun of me"
"Umm....kind of."
Don't worry, I was mature about it. "Well, the joke is on you guys!" Ok, so maybe I wasn't.
Later in class, a guy came to fix my computer. When he walked in I turned to show him where the computer was and saw the kid in the onesie sitting on his desk, legs full in the air yelling to his group "Look how flexible I am! I stretch every night. I can also touch my toes if you want to see." It was like if you had a child and they did something super embarrassing in public and you wanted to pretend you didn't know them.
A student was giving a presentation and two kids were talking in the back of the room. I asked them what was SO important that they had to talk about it right then.
"Well, I was just asking him about the name of these special kind of slippers you can wear outside."
While I was thinking about how dumb that sounded, this other kid stole the words right out of my mouth, "They are called SHOES."
The best part of yesterday was when one of my students came in at the end of the day and said "Are my pants in here?"
Today I was grading papers, my arch nemesis, when I saw something partially erased on an assignment. On closer inspection, I read "I will murder your face off if you touch me again", followed by a smiley face. I guess she was taking matters into her own hands? I would also just like to point out that I was not at school that day, so whatever was happening can be blamed on my substitute teacher :)
Some boys in my class today, the same ones who were giving me a hard time about the pajamas, were talking to me about the movie at school tomorrow night. I was asking about what food they were selling because I'm coaching until it starts and then chaperoning the movie. They were sweet and said "We'll bring you dinner from KFC". I mentioned that it was odd that KFC was their first choice and how I hadn't eaten there since I was like 7. That literally flabbergasted them. One of them said "I will get that KFC and shove it in your face!" Umm...thanks?
One of the science teachers that most all of my students have was also my high school science teacher. He already told them that a few months ago, but apparently they didn't all get the memo. Today one of them shouted out "He was YOUR science teacher???? That is blowing my mind!!!"
A student was being annoying today (weird, I know) in the middle of class and I stopped and was looking at him, waiting for him to stop with my teacher stare, I'm sure you know what I mean. Another student said to him "She wants to stab you" (also I'd like to clarify that I do NOT want to stab any students.). He said "with what?" And another girl said "Her eyes".
During our basketball game this evening, I told a girl to hurry and sub in. What I envisioned happening was her hurrying to check in and then waiting to be called in by the ref. What really happened: She got up off the bench and literally sprinted full speed onto the court in the middle of the game. She's also the one who can roll her eyes SO well during the game that I can see it from across the court. That's impressive.
Just another day in paradise. And I promise, I really do teach and they really are learning in between all the hilarity :)
Monday, December 10, 2012
Manic Monday
I decided to try asking a student to do something for me who I wouldn't normally ask. I thought maybe he would rise to the challenge. I was wrong.
"Hey, can you go out into the shared space and ask the kids working out there to come back in?"
Then I hear this being yelled from the classroom door:
"Hey ya buttholes, get back in here!"
I think it's pretty clear why I usually do things myself around here.
I also heard this from my desk today between two students:
"What do you think swag would stand for if it was an acronym?"
"Umm, love."
Yikes. Vocabulary fail.
I am also currently coaching the girl's junior varsity basketball team. You can probably imagine what that's like. At the game today I may have yelled out "don't you roll your eyes at me!" Only in middle school.
"Hey, can you go out into the shared space and ask the kids working out there to come back in?"
Then I hear this being yelled from the classroom door:
"Hey ya buttholes, get back in here!"
I think it's pretty clear why I usually do things myself around here.
I also heard this from my desk today between two students:
"What do you think swag would stand for if it was an acronym?"
"Umm, love."
Yikes. Vocabulary fail.
I am also currently coaching the girl's junior varsity basketball team. You can probably imagine what that's like. At the game today I may have yelled out "don't you roll your eyes at me!" Only in middle school.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sunday Night Giggles
Don't we all need a little laugh before heading back to work?
On Friday, I heard the girls sitting next to my desk talking about one of them being single. She said she was going to be alone forever. I told her I thought she'd be fine. The other girl said "Well, honey boo-boo's mom has a boyfriend and she doesn't, so....."
So much wisdom, so few years.
In case you live in a cave:
Honey Boo-Boo
We also had a school talent show on Friday. My personal favorite was the trio performing "Thrift Shop". Picture one kid rapping in an argyle sweater (he was actually really fabulous), a kid busting beats on his trumpet and one hype man. And don't worry, no profanity around here. "This is flippin' awesome"
Thrift Shop
I was also pretty into my student who wrote this weird rap about all of the teachers but in trying to rhyme her lines, just made up weird sentences about everyone. Mine was "looks like a bunny". Also, in between each line she would say "yo, yo, yo, yo". And I'm using the term "rapping" in a VERY loose way here. The best part was that following that performance, every student in my classes felt the need to let me know if they really thought I looked like a bunny or not. Right when one kid walked in he stared at me and then said "You know, I've never really thought about it before, but you DO look like a bunny". On a side note, he also came to class wearing a polo, v-neck cardigan and slacks. He had a band concert but instead just kept telling everyone it was "formal Friday".
On Friday, I heard the girls sitting next to my desk talking about one of them being single. She said she was going to be alone forever. I told her I thought she'd be fine. The other girl said "Well, honey boo-boo's mom has a boyfriend and she doesn't, so....."
So much wisdom, so few years.
In case you live in a cave:
Honey Boo-Boo
We also had a school talent show on Friday. My personal favorite was the trio performing "Thrift Shop". Picture one kid rapping in an argyle sweater (he was actually really fabulous), a kid busting beats on his trumpet and one hype man. And don't worry, no profanity around here. "This is flippin' awesome"
Thrift Shop
I was also pretty into my student who wrote this weird rap about all of the teachers but in trying to rhyme her lines, just made up weird sentences about everyone. Mine was "looks like a bunny". Also, in between each line she would say "yo, yo, yo, yo". And I'm using the term "rapping" in a VERY loose way here. The best part was that following that performance, every student in my classes felt the need to let me know if they really thought I looked like a bunny or not. Right when one kid walked in he stared at me and then said "You know, I've never really thought about it before, but you DO look like a bunny". On a side note, he also came to class wearing a polo, v-neck cardigan and slacks. He had a band concert but instead just kept telling everyone it was "formal Friday".
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Word to the Wednesday
Student led current event presentations lead to pretty fabulous discussions...
After an article presentation about a really old person:
"So, do you think anyone in our generation will live to be really, really old?"
"Yes, I mean because we are going into the future..."
"1.12 gigawatts, we're going back to the future!"
"People might end up just putting their brain on ice and then putting it into some sort of robot body"
"With science, people are probably going to live to be like 200"
"I don't want to live to be super old with like, half a face. I mean, that's probably what would happen if you were 200."
"They will probably find the people who are really old are the ones who just eat only 1 type of food. Like, they'll interview someone who is really old and he'll say he only ate potatoes or something."
During his presentation about bride kidnapping in another country:
"So, bride kidnapping probably sounds bad to you. And I would agree at first. People in that country used to get brides when they would ride their horses around and grab up ladies. Now it's basically the same, except with a van."
On a final note, I was trying to walk through an aisle of desks and was in the way of a student. Instead of waiting, he jumped across a table and slid to the other side while yelling "PARKOUR!!!"
After an article presentation about a really old person:
"So, do you think anyone in our generation will live to be really, really old?"
"Yes, I mean because we are going into the future..."
"1.12 gigawatts, we're going back to the future!"
"People might end up just putting their brain on ice and then putting it into some sort of robot body"
"With science, people are probably going to live to be like 200"
"I don't want to live to be super old with like, half a face. I mean, that's probably what would happen if you were 200."
"They will probably find the people who are really old are the ones who just eat only 1 type of food. Like, they'll interview someone who is really old and he'll say he only ate potatoes or something."
During his presentation about bride kidnapping in another country:
"So, bride kidnapping probably sounds bad to you. And I would agree at first. People in that country used to get brides when they would ride their horses around and grab up ladies. Now it's basically the same, except with a van."
On a final note, I was trying to walk through an aisle of desks and was in the way of a student. Instead of waiting, he jumped across a table and slid to the other side while yelling "PARKOUR!!!"
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Notes
We've been running our car factory simulation in class for the past few days but finished on Friday.The students were either factory owners or child laborers. Today, I was doing something and noticed some kids passing a note and getting rowdy. I collected the note and read this:
"Pike Manufacturing,
Hello and congratulations on being a proud employee of Pike Manufacturing, as an employee. As employees it is your job to manufacture cars, these cars are to be in pristine condition, or we might just have to fire you. Pike Manufacturing pays its employees 8 credits per car unless one is not passed, then you are paid 5 credits per car. Anyone will be hired even if they have a criminal record or are poorer than dirt.
The cars will be sold to Hicadin Vehicles that pay ten credits poer car. Once hired you will sit in assigned seats that you will sit in for the remainder of the day. Our company uses an assembly line tactic where your job is only to draw one part of the vehicle and pass it on to the next worker. After working for seven hours, the workday ends and you will exit from several exits. Once the workday begins you are advised to come on time or risk a pay cut. After repeating the day several times you will be issued a performance report that will have things you can improve on.
Now, we have a possibility of combining businesses, so if it happens prepare for the following possibilities: New workspace, new pay, new workers and new conditions. We won't loser the new items, so they will possibly be better. After accepting the job you shall go to your workstation, work and then move to W's business and work for them. Our business will be the most pristine company. We guarantee our workers are 100% happy or we will improve your working conditions.
This contract cannot be interfered by except by the following people: W, J and P. This contract has no expiration date. You cannot go on strike and you may not form a union. Tearing this contract will not make a difference because it's on file on computer. After ten days you will receive a 1 credit increase that will never be deducted. You will also have the following insurance:
Health Insurance
Life Insurance
Fire Insurance
Gas Insurance
War Insurance
Animal Insurance
Home Insurance
Transportation Insurance"
Dare I say they are excited about class AND learning something?! Can it be??
"Pike Manufacturing,
Hello and congratulations on being a proud employee of Pike Manufacturing, as an employee. As employees it is your job to manufacture cars, these cars are to be in pristine condition, or we might just have to fire you. Pike Manufacturing pays its employees 8 credits per car unless one is not passed, then you are paid 5 credits per car. Anyone will be hired even if they have a criminal record or are poorer than dirt.
The cars will be sold to Hicadin Vehicles that pay ten credits poer car. Once hired you will sit in assigned seats that you will sit in for the remainder of the day. Our company uses an assembly line tactic where your job is only to draw one part of the vehicle and pass it on to the next worker. After working for seven hours, the workday ends and you will exit from several exits. Once the workday begins you are advised to come on time or risk a pay cut. After repeating the day several times you will be issued a performance report that will have things you can improve on.
Now, we have a possibility of combining businesses, so if it happens prepare for the following possibilities: New workspace, new pay, new workers and new conditions. We won't loser the new items, so they will possibly be better. After accepting the job you shall go to your workstation, work and then move to W's business and work for them. Our business will be the most pristine company. We guarantee our workers are 100% happy or we will improve your working conditions.
This contract cannot be interfered by except by the following people: W, J and P. This contract has no expiration date. You cannot go on strike and you may not form a union. Tearing this contract will not make a difference because it's on file on computer. After ten days you will receive a 1 credit increase that will never be deducted. You will also have the following insurance:
Health Insurance
Life Insurance
Fire Insurance
Gas Insurance
War Insurance
Animal Insurance
Home Insurance
Transportation Insurance"
Dare I say they are excited about class AND learning something?! Can it be??
Monday, December 3, 2012
S.M.S
Save My Sanity
"We just put our hair up in beehives, you know, like they used to do when you were young."
"Ohhh... we weren't rolling around on the floor fighting, we were....performing a skit!"
"Yo, what up giiiiirl?"
"T should be your best friend, he invited you for Thanksgiving."
*I was then invited to Christmas and Hanukkah and had to remind them that I actually have my own family.
Every time something happens in the classroom, this kid screams out "IT'S THE ILLUMINATI!!!" and now a bunch of them are into making those triangles with their hands during class and sneaking to freeze the image of the illuminati under the document camera. I thought they were just super into the Da Vinci Code movie or something but turns out it's some rap thing. Also, that made me feel old.
The same kid told me he noticed that my number jars were ordered 2, 1, 3 and if that actually meant I was a fan of Nate Dogg (another rap thing that I had to google...). How did he know I specifically choose my favorite artists by the number of songs they have with explicit ratings?
"It's your birthday? Are you turning 24?" Bless you child, bless you.
After listening to an 8th grader try multiple rounds of "Colors of the Wind" with the wrong words, I suggested that perhaps he didn't actually know the words... or the tune. I thought he was singing Happy Birthday from across the room. He started doing something on his computer and then in the middle of an activity asked if he could get something from the printer. "No, you may not go get your lyrics to Colors of the Wind in the middle of class." He replied with, "Come on, will you sing it at the talent show with me? I'm not even kidding!".
Political Cartoons: Sometimes You Get It...
And sometimes you add in a weird detail:
"I think this has something to do with jazz... or could be resembling a factory owner taking in children."
"I see a man (Martin Luther King Jr.?) who is fat (most likely from all the children he's eating) and he is eating more children." He also wrote "Carl Winslow" next to the man's head.
"In response, this seems to be opposing child labor. A man looking like Louie Armstrong or Dizzy Gillespie is eating children. I don't think he owns a factory. He looks like a mixture of Carl from Family Matters and Uncle Phil. He might be the factory himself, absorbing these kids."
As a side note: I didn't know kids still watched Family Matters?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)